And if there is, I don't mind missing it. Yours is the one I want." Her jaw dropped and her eyes filled with tears. Next thing I knew, she was crying.Thank God I instinctively knew what to do. I held her in my arms and kissed her cheeks and her ears, and caressed her hair. It didn't matter that she was fifteen years older than I. I squeezed her to me and rubbed her back. She began to talk and I said, "Shut up." And I continued squeezing and caressing.The idea of losing my kissing buddy was too much. I said, "Let's let this thing work out the way it wants to work out. We're both enjoying it too much to stop, so let's keep going. And everyone be decent to everyone else. And if it turns out it's not working, then let go gently so no one gets hurt any more than they have to. And always remember that we're family." Little brother, you don't sound fifteen." Well, you forced me to think real hard. And I keep thinking the kisser of my dreams is right next to me. And she has been sleeping. I'd driven past the place many times, and I'd always been intrigued by it, and I wanted to go inside and see for myself what it was like; but I'd always driven on past each time I'd initially thought I'd go in---except finally, on a very hot and humid summer day in 1981, I pulled into the dusty gravel parking lot and, with my heart pounding in my chest and neck, I walked in through the front door!The first thing that I noticed about the place was the heavy aroma of cigarette smoke. The place seemed totally saturated in it. There were three of four other men there, all browsing around the shelves of VHS tapes and magazines. No one made eye contact with anyone else. They seemed nervous. I felt nervous as well! I'd never been to an adult bookstore, and I found the whole thing a little bit daunting! The ambience of pure, unadulterated sexual lust was palpable! It was almost overwhelming in it's unvarnished intensity; and yet, I found it strangely appealing!I browsed around for five or.
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